Selective mutism v's Situational mutism.

I remember when I was a teenager, I was hanging out with my group of friends after school one day. I just did not feel like talking or so I thought.

One of my friends was asking if I was alright, he said it was getting him worried that I was so quiet as this was not typical for me. He thought I was upset or not feeling well. I said to him no I am fine, I could not articulate why, but I had just lost the ability to speak at that time.

I remember this happened a fair bit, particularly when I was a teenager. I had no idea what it was & it didn't particularly bother me either, because when I felt this way, if I wasn't made to talk, I felt my mood lift. It recharged me.

I didn't find out that I'm Autistic until I was 39, so a long time later. It was even later still when I put 2 & 2 together about those times & realised it was what used to be known as Selective Mutism.

I notice that all my children & even my husband have this at times as well. However I never felt very comfortable with the word "Selective" because to select something means to decide.

It is not a decision to not talk, but rather something that happens at times when overloaded. When I heard the term "Situational mutism" it resonated much more to me. As often we will struggle to talk in new or different situations.

For example:

. In a new place

. Amongst new people

. When plans have been changed

. When something unexpected happens

. When we are overloaded from a number of things

Some people say we should always use our voice to communicate. I strongly disagree with this. If our anxiety is really heightened & sending a text message, writing or using a voice program helps us to get through, why shouldn't we be allowed that accommodation?

These are the little things people accept we need to do in order to prevent or lessen a meltdown or a shut down. This is a part of acceptance & real inclusion.